As a Nigerian adult, you know December isn’t just a festive season; it’s the unofficial billing Olympics.
From matching aso-ebi for your partner’s cousin’s wedding, to paying for office hangout, to buying gifts for friends and family, to concert tickets and “detty December” plans, there’s always something demanding your hard-earned money.
It’s as if the universe is conspiring with sapa to make sure your January is full of shege. But fear not, because I have curated a guide to dodging these bills like the pro “shege survivor” you are. Let’s get into it!
Always Complain Like It’s Your Birthright
Nobody wants to bill someone who complains every five minutes.
When you make it a point of duty to complain about your financial situation every time you get a chance, the likelihood of getting billed will be next to impossible, except you have heartless people with PhDs in audacity around you, and for those, there’s step two..
Trade Your Flashy Phone for a ‘Torchlight’
See those your big phones that attract unnecessary attention, that your iPhone 14 Pro Max? It’s a walking billboard for billing.
Sell it and invest the money in preparation for next year’s shege. That way, nobody will suspect you’re a “billionaire in transit.”
Get a humble Nokia torchlight or TECNO that screams ‘leave me alone.’ Imagine someone asking for money while you’re using a phone that looks like it belongs in 2003. Exactly. They might even pity you and dash you money.
Buy Okrika Clothes
Like they always say at the “Okrika” stores, na mumu dey go boutique! Save your bank account the headache of buying designer clothes that will easily give you away as the next big thing in town and attract billing.
Buy “Okrika” wears and make it a point of duty to announce to everyone that cares to listen whenever they compliment you. You can say things like, “You’ll never believe how much/where I bought this outfit, it’s just 500 Naira o!”
Don’t forget to throw in that line about “making do with the little you have…” Nobody will dare ask you to contribute to any extravagant expenses when you’ve positioned yourself as the king or queen of thrift.
Avoid Calls Like a Pro
Screen all calls! That call from your cousin in the village? You know it’s not “Merry Christmas” they’re about to say but “I need money for New Year.”
Activate DND (Do Not Disturb) and return only those you’re certain will not end up billing you, and if you must respond, use WhatsApp texts where you can carefully craft excuses.
Go Solo: Break Up With Your Partner
Let’s keep it real. Being in a relationship is the major source of billing in December. Cut it off and enjoy the peace of mind that comes with being single!
Enjoy your money alone, you worked hard for it! Plus, you get bonus points for entering January without emotional or financial baggage.
RELATED: 4 Reasons Why You Should Stay Single In December
You’re not sure how to do that? Stay tuned for my next article where I’ll be providing you with updates on how to serve breakfast in December.
Dodging bills in December isn’t just about saving money; it’s about maintaining your sanity and starting January without having to sell your kidney.
Try these strategies, and watch how your December becomes peaceful and financially secure. Just remember to thank me when you’re sipping zobo in your house instead of crying in debt recovery meetings.
If you loved these tips and you’d like to get more, join the Dating and Relationship community on Fusion. But don’t go and fall in love in December o!
1,246 Responses
Magnificent goods from you, man. I have remember your stuff prior to and you are simply extremely great. I actually like what you’ve received right here, certainly like what you’re stating and the way in which you are saying it. You make it entertaining and you continue to take care of to keep it wise. I cant wait to learn much more from you. This is really a great site.
Pharma Jetzt: versand apotheke online – Pharma Jetzt
A person necessarily help to make significantly posts I might state. This is the very first time I frequented your web page and thus far? I amazed with the research you made to make this actual publish extraordinary. Fantastic job!
mijn medicijn.nl apohteek de apotheker
Pharma Confiance: phaemacie – newpharma en ligne
Hey, you used to write great, but the last several posts have been kinda boring?K I miss your tremendous writings. Past few posts are just a bit out of track! come on!
apotheek online: online apotheke pille – aphoteke online
canadian online pharmacies prescription drugs
Medicijn Punt: Medicijn Punt – MedicijnPunt
chat tache sur le nez: Pharma Confiance – antibiotique chien sans ordonnance
aphoteke online: Pharma Jetzt – online apotheke versandkostenfrei
Pharma Connect USA PharmaConnectUSA Pharma Connect USA
MedicijnPunt: MedicijnPunt – MedicijnPunt
amoxicilline lait spray nasal chien ou acheter argel 7
online pharmacy percocet: order viagra online pharmacy – PharmaConnectUSA
MedicijnPunt landelijke apotheek dokter online medicijnen bestellen
You have observed very interesting details! ps nice internet site. “The appearance of right oft leads us wrong.” by Horace.
There is noticeably a bundle to know about this. I assume you made certain nice points in features also.
landelijke apotheek: Medicijn Punt – apotheek recept
1.
“I had no idea there was a natural way to help clear mucus and breathe more deeply—BREATHE sounds like a total relief for anyone with chronic congestion or lung irritation. Definitely adding this to my wellness routine!”
I do agree with all the ideas you’ve introduced on your post. They’re really convincing and can certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are too brief for starters. May you please lengthen them a bit from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.
Pharma Confiance Pharma Confiance Pharma Confiance
Pharma Jetzt: PharmaJetzt – schop apoteke
online pharmacy: medikamente gГјnstig kaufen – online apotheke ohne versandkosten
Pharma Confiance Pharma Confiance Pharma Confiance
meilleur site pharmacie en ligne: Pharma Confiance – doliprane en espagne
Pharma Confiance: 300 g en cl – pharmacie des drakkars en ligne
Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is excellent blog. An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.
obviously like your web-site however you need to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very bothersome to tell the reality then again I will certainly come again again.
Medicijn Punt: betrouwbare online apotheek – online apotheek 24
PharmaConnectUSA: PharmaConnectUSA – tesco pharmacy lariam
https://medicijnpunt.com/# Medicijn Punt
online medicijnen kopen MedicijnPunt niederlande apotheke
Hello, you used to write great, but the last few posts have been kinda boring?K I miss your great writings. Past several posts are just a bit out of track! come on!
You have noted very interesting points! ps decent site. “The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.” by Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill.
pharmacie de garde nice aujourd’hui: commander saxenda – pharmacie my place
Hello my friend! I want to say that this article is amazing, nice written and include approximately all important infos. I’d like to peer extra posts like this.
Medicijn Punt MedicijnPunt MedicijnPunt
Virtually all of the things you claim is astonishingly accurate and it makes me wonder the reason why I hadn’t looked at this with this light previously. This particular article really did switch the light on for me personally as far as this specific issue goes. Nonetheless at this time there is actually one particular factor I am not too comfy with so whilst I try to reconcile that with the actual main theme of your point, allow me see just what all the rest of your readers have to point out.Nicely done.
apotheek webshop MedicijnPunt Medicijn Punt
It?¦s in point of fact a great and useful piece of information. I?¦m happy that you simply shared this useful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
mycare apotheke online bestellen: PharmaJetzt – apotheke online shop
generic viagra online pharmacy: drug rx – Pharma Connect USA
PharmaConnectUSA: Pharma Connect USA – Pharma Connect USA
naturally like your web site however you need to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it very troublesome to inform the reality nevertheless I’ll surely come again again.
Vigor Long Gummies are a modern male enhancement supplement designed to naturally support testosterone levels, improve blood flow, and increase sexual endurance.