Dates, especially the first, come with a lot of unease. I’m not going to lie, the struggle is real; trying hard to strike a balance between your authentic and ideal self over the phone is enough pressure. Doing it face to face with a stranger coupled with the need to impress, can be even more awkward, almost like an interview. You’re constantly trying to be careful to say all the right things, never miss a cue, be on your best behaviour….(uhhh🙄 let’s just stay at home and chat). All sorts of stuff can start flying out of your mouth if care is not taken.
I still feel bad whenever I remember my experience and that’s why I’ve put together a list of things you should never say on a first date.
Extremely Personal Questions
I know that people on social media are all shades of cruise and they have a thing or two to say about the kind of conversations you should have with your date at every stage. Still, it’s always advisable to take these opinions with a grain of salt. Except you guys are on a celestial level kind of high, please don’t go asking extremely personal questions like: “What’s your genotype?”,“What disease is common in your family?”, “Why did your ex leave you?”
I know some people honestly do not mind but (where’s the statistic to back it up?) since you’re not sure if your date would mind, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Choose class over crass. Keep it simple, lighthearted, fun and sincere. Trust me, if the first date goes well, there’ll be plenty of room to ask those personal questions subsequently.
Money
Except you’re discussing “Tinubunomics” or you’re going dutch, there’s no need to talk about money. At least, not to the extent of asking “how much do you earn?”, “how much do you save?” It’s a quick turn off. One way or another, you either come across as bragging/proud or stressed and beggarly.
Politics/Religion
This is a great way to get almost anyone to talk. However, it is also a sure way to get fireworks flying in all the wrong directions. Believe me, you also don’t want your date judging you based on their personal sentiments against your political or religious preferences.
Since you’re not certain that you and your date hold the same views on politics and religion, it is better to avoid those topics altogether. If you must talk about it (maybe because you’re a politician), please do so in the most respectful and unassuming manner possible.
Your Ex/Exes
Depending on how things ended between the two of you, it might be easy to make reference to your ex or not. Regardless, keep your past off the table and don’t attempt to pry into someone else’ on the first date.
If you run out of things to talk about, talk about the weather or your passion and ambition, or any other thing but your ex. Talking about them might give off the wrong impression that you’re still stuck in that relationship or that you haven’t moved on or that you’re just a petty person and we don’t want that, do we?
Sexual Convos
Given the circumstance, it’s easy to get carried away by how good your date looks or how suave/sleek your date is. Keep it under tabs fam! You can complement your date without being overbearing….
While this might be an important aspect of intimate relationships and you’re comfortable talking about it, your date might not be comfortable with it. They might even consider it information overload.
Save all that gist about your body count or how good you are in bed or how badly you want your date. Most times, it gives off “creepy” vibes. Don’t sacrifice your chance at a second date for the talk of sexual expertise.
If you’re not sure about the topic, it’s best to avoid it. I know first dates can be a lot and you might be wondering what things you can possibly talk about. I’ll be sharing things you can say on first dates to help ease the tension in subsequent articles (stay tuned!).
Have you ever been on a very awkward first date? Join the banter and share your awry date experiences on Fusion’s “Dating and Relationship Community”. See ya!
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